His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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