I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
