You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
