So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize