you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
