garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
