I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
