where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
