OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
