dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
