i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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