she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
