It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
