Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
nutella sex= disaster
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
