Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
