Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize