If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
