I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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