i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
