oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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