he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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