if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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