I need help removing her.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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