I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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