hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Michael Bay diarrhea
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
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