He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
a search helicopter?!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
