At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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