I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
