Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
operation have a gay friend backfired
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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