You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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