maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
