We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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