I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
