I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
