i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
