Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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