She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
