Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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