We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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