what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
