Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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