We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
