I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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