All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
