I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
