I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can't turn off my feet"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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