dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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