why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
