I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
