I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wear drunk well.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
