I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
