So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
