How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
