I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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