My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
