But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
