She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
