I just saw a hot homeless man
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
