my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
