We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
