Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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