I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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